2003-09-04 - 12:36 p.m.

No, not Loomis lemmings. Just the looming Convention.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it'll be a blast. There are just certain situations that don't put me in a very comfortable place. For one thing, I want to do my best to maintain my impartiality; if a situation might arise where I could be accused of bias, I'd rather opt out of that situation than risk slowing the game down for someone else's stupidity. Because, let's face it...

Anything, and I mean anything, getting dragged into a game for personal reasons, is just plain dumb.

And I'd like to think there are people out there than can get beyond their jealousies and prejudices and just play the game as it's dealt, rather than try to tip the scales in their favor with metagaming or worse.

Otherwise, like they say in New York, "I'm gonna ask once, nice..."

I want to see New York again. I just don't want to live there. I don't think I could take the pace. It's too far removed from Rivendell-esque places for me.

Little by little I think I just might be regaining some motivation. I just need to get it pointed in the right direction. And that can be hard some days. My wife, bless her, seems to be more concerned about my well-being and success than her own, and will occasionally give me a smack upside the head (or across the ass) to keep me on track. It's what I need, really. Otherwise I just kind of flounder. It's happened before and it's never ended well that way.

I made a promise, to myself for a change, a while ago. "It'll be different from here on." And so far, delightfully, it has been.

But as they say... the more things change...

I just hope people can be as smart as I know they can be. Otherwise I'll be deeply disappointed. And maybe even hurt.

And it's that much harder to rebuild bridges when you're sore.

Loomings

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