2003-10-28 - 10:30 a.m.

Hey look, an entry that premieres on Diaryland first! Gasp! Is something wrong?

Actually, no, I just felt like posting this here first. Considering there's very little difference between these two in terms of content (except the Friends-only posts, nyah nyah!!), it really doesn't matter which I post in first. I do tend to post in LJ a bit more prolifically and not parallel post here in D-land, but that's just laziness on my part. Is that any sort of surprise?

...Didn't think so.

Been doing my best to write at least a page a day, and so far it's working out. Sometimes I miss days, but then I get a burst of inspiration and can write half a dozen pages in one sitting. I finally have a definite idea of where the novel is headed, a lot of the gaps between where I was and the cinematic finale have been filled in, and new characters have cropped up that I hadn't even planned on. It's almost like fatherhood, but without the drooling and squealing and dirty diapers.

I'm tired, but happy. Shannon is enjoying Evangelion, I've seen Spice World, and we're finally raising Brooke together. And I really think Brooke is a happier baby. Sure, we don't have kitties right now (but we're gonna fix that!!), but she has a Mommy and Daddy that love her very much and look after her just about every waking minute. I haven't been playing EQ as much, but that'll come. I'll get my time, sooner or later... in the meantime, there are more important things.

I do find myself looking back sometimes, wondering about the places I've been, people I've known, experiences I've had. I look in the mirror and I see the same person, with memories and phantoms just behind me, on the edges of my perception. But the "me" that exists in the minds of others, true as they may be, is not quite as important as the "me" that exists in my mind and observes the others. This central "me" has a connection outside myself that may or may not be perceived when the other "me's" are observered. "I" am a product of the "me" that has existed in my parent's minds and hearts since I was born, the "me" that my teachers, professors and roommates dealt with, the "me" others have loved, and the experiences that have affected me when there were no other mortal observers. Thus I am more than I might seem to others and I am aware that the sum may very well exceed the parts. I am me, and I am more than you might think.

Can you tell I've been watching Evangelion? ~_^

I better get back to work.

Thanks for reading. Come back soon.

I am I

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